To grow. But how?

People are fucking rude. This is the third time that its been happening to me in the few days that have gone by.

 

Incident 3: (Fresh and most vivid in my memory)

As you might be aware, I have been trying to speak to these people form universities so as to be able to make a decision on which university to choose from the two admits I have gotten.

 

So I found this guy via a friend of friend of friend of friend. He kept only messaging on fb. I kept insisting on asking him for  a 5 min video chat at his own convenience, any fucking time.

He told me via chat, “ Some people end up getting a job that they don’t like,  Some people don’t get job. You need to learn language to search for job in other countries.” This is not clear to me. What does he mean by “some”. Its was not helping me make a decision.

 

He pings me at 1:00 am. I am like ok, lets get this done.

 

Video chat:

We exchange Hi’s. I have a set of topics to talk to him about. So I start with, “ Hey, Can you tell me about yourself ?”

And he replies real rude, “This is not a job interview. Why are you asking me such questions. Why do you want to know about me”. All I wanted to know was who he was, as in what he was doing in delft, which year he was in etc.. I think that was uncalled for. I was taken aback. I try to explain why and what I wanted to know about that. He asks me what I am planning to do in TU delft. I answer. Asks me what am planning to do in PME track.

It felt as though he thought I was a real low status chut, and then softned when I told him that am planning to do ___ and ___. I think he softened because he felt I knew what I was doing (I am glad I was able to pull that one off. Phew!). I think he felt that I was not a regular chutya and  And then he tells about Himself.

Throughout the conversation he comes up with more of these  ‘This is not a job interview’ type statements, with his classic rudeness. I try to explain to him.

No one cares, what you think is uncalled for.

 

How I felt during the incident:

I was taken aback as fuck. I was hurt. I did not like his tone. Why the fuck did he have to be so rude. I mean he doesn’t even know me.

So, if he knows you, is it okay? Its never fucking okay for anyone to be rude to me unless I have done something wrong. I mean something really wrong.  I think what am trying to say is that this is the first time, and he talks to me as though he fucking owns me. OMMAALEY, Thevidiya payan. (Do comment what you thought when I said this, Do you think I am using a blog to vent my anger? To scold him behind his back and feel good about it)… I can put up with, if my parents are irritated and are rude to me for doing nothing.

Why can you put up with your parents being rude and irritated for your doing nothing?

As they have some pressure or burden in the office, I can understand. They have fucking given me shit loads of stuff. I can take some bullshit.

This guy also might be having some pressure. This, I don’t want to understand. But I did put up with his shit. For I needed whatever information he had and I might need him after two years.

 

How I feel after the incident ?

I wanted to confront him. I wanted to tell him what it felt like. Of course he could say sorry. Or he could just fuck you up even more, with more words.

I wanted  revenge. I wanted to text him some bad words. I wanted to say ‘fuck you motherfucker’. There is no effin thing he can do about it. But then that could spoil the relation between us. I might need his help later. I feel I can do without his help in the future.  Of course this can also back fire.

I think the real reason is that, I feel It will feel awkward when he passes by in the university. Rationale to counter the feeling: When if you see him, in all likelihood he is not going to remember you. And he is leaving delft this year. So this probabilty is almost nil, Agent.

How I felt the next morning?

I was thinking about it. Thinking about what I would say to him and all, What he did to me. etc…

 

So I had read this post by my online friend. http://pradeep90.github.io/posts/Why-take-the-high-road.html

Summary of post:

It means a lot to the brain- your social life. It uses pain and ridicule to make you take action. It lives for situations like these.

“Try as you might to think about something else you care about, your mind will insist on obsessing about all the ways in which the other person has screwed you and how you can make sure they pay for it.”-from the post. I saw this happen to me Incident 3.

Revenge is a good idea. What if it backfires?

You are trying to make your life better with thinking and all. Ideas just don’t come like that. They come at random intervals and you especially being a noob cannot afford to have fucked up times like these.

This is gonna happen in the future for sure. Look at your history. Look at your past week. So grow.

 

What do you propose Master 18?

I propose to take it on another post. A

What is the point of writing if you aint taking no action?

You are write (pun intended). we shall right more soon.

Whats the actioin for tonight from this post and for life?

Back pain exercise by 1:00 pm.